share some thoughts

Thursday, September 29, 2005

getting ready

Get ready everyone, Ramadan is next week ISA! Allahumma Balighna Ramadan.

Today is my first day off for a while, and I have been too busy to look around. I sort of come back tired at the end of the day... talk on the phone a bit, read a while and go to sleep. Really need time to do some stuff. I'll try to plan things better from now on. want to get ready for Ramadan. Today I am gonna skip my morning coffee, try to have some juice or water instead. i will postpone that a couple of hours too ISA. If i don't do that, the first day really takes me by surprise. This year is the first in about 4 that i spend the first day here. It can be nice, though I miss it there. want to make a plan for ramadan this year. If I don't, I feel that alot of good things can pass us by.

so what are we to do?

lets see, we will fast of course ISA (rabbena ye3een ISA), try to pray tarawee7 and not be lazy after fitar. try not to get too attached to TV. The way we are bombarded with stuff, you would think we have a "who watches the most TV contest". well we will see.

these are the basics, basides of course trying to be on our best behaviour. there are alot of other things that can be done, not only in ramdan but year round, but this is a time for multiplied reward. Sieze it!

we see family more often in Ramdan , lets try to make it with the intention of selet ra7em (connecting with blood), also if we invite someone to fitar; lets make neyyet IT3am Sa2em :feeding a fasting person. if we go eat at a friend or relative, try to make the neyya to labby da3wa "accept an invitation" as it is of our duties to each other.

so many others. more charity in ramadan, read more quran, learn something you didn't know about your religion. learn by heart some part of quran. Have God always on your mind.

This is all so sporadic and generalized, should write them down in a more organized manner. I would welcome any ideas of how to make the best out of ramadan.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

A recovered poem

I was re-arranging my library the other day, when I came open this poem. It was one of those forwarded emails that I get, and I sometimes print out the ones that I really like. This has probably been sent to me over a year ago, I don’t know by whom, but I found it just now, and its timing is really good. Sub7an Allah. I needed to remember this right now, esp. that Ramadan is coming on ISA. :

"What happened to those days when my faith was strong?
When I wouldn’t dare think of doing anything wrong
When my yaqeen in Allah would lead me through
The good and bad… the old and new

What happened to those days when my du’aa was sincere?
When there was absolutely nothing on Earth that I would fear
When I was certain that Allah was really near
And would run to him and leave all that is dear

What happened to those days when I could read and recite well?
When I bought el janna and this dunya I would sell
When my heart was pure and full of light
When my qiyam was my only source of strength and might

What’s wrong my soul.. why did you fall?
Don’t you know that Allah knows and hears your call?
A little test like this one shouldn’t beat you so
It shouldn’t pull you down to a level so low

Don’t you know that Allah chooses what is best
And that this is all a previously planned test
Don’t you know that He hears your soul.. He hears your cry
He sees you fall .. He sees you sigh

Allah is great.. Allah is Al-Hakeem
His ways are just no matter how dark it may seem

Hold on my soul, to the fireball in your palm
Hold on to it and when it burns act calm
Whenever it falls, bend down and restart
Let those tears fall and wipe your heart

Remember, my soul, the beauty of the promised firdaws
You know it’s your dream to build there a house

Get back on you feet and go back to those days
I know this only a passing phase"

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

your route

This week school started. Thank God. I needed a little more routine and order to my days. this summer has been totally sporadic. everything done on impulse; travelling, going out, staying home, shopping, reading, even working! while it is sometimes nice, but knowing that I actually have tons to do, I needed some settling down and routine. I also needed to get in the working mood after relaxing for 4 months. So this week i have been to work everyday now and waking up early has been wierdly refreshing.

anyway, driving to work this morning, I was listening to the radio (negoom FM) and I heard this very short broadcast called (tareekak delwakty), Your route right now. This guy was actually telling us which roads are crowded at the moment, which are better routes to take, where the traffic jams are, how much time is expected to go somewhere etc. I couldn't believe it. It felt like a dream come true, and this guy is my new best friend. I live quite on the other side of the city from where I work, and going to work everyday, I never know how it will be. So, I was really happy with this. People tell me this has been on for a while, but i guess i missed it because i usually listen to tapes, but the player wasn't working for some reason.

needless to say, the guy said that 6th of October bridge was very crowded, and yet I took it anyway. after all what choice did I have? and yup, sure enough, it was very crowded, and I got to work half an hour late. I think I spend too much of my day driving to and from work. Have to find something interesting to do on my way. any suggestions?

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Women in Islam

For all those who claim that Islam is unfair to women, maybe you would like to check out this post at Roora. It is quite interesting.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Paying in Kisses

Dear Sweetheart,

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart

Your husband

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items...........
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!

Your Sweet Heart

Saturday, September 10, 2005

What are the options?

Sometimes I really need a way out, and there is nothing I can do. then one day, a door opens, an option is introduced, then I think about it a while, is this it?

A door opens yes, but sometimes it is not right for me. No. I feel I can not go through. This option doesn't get me out. takes me somewhere else maybe, but doesn't get me out. Then I grudgingly pass this door, afraid to go through, it doesn't feel right. I can't use this option.

then I sit and wait, waiting for another way out. Sometimes thoughts come back to haunt you. Was that the right door? The one you just let go by? Did I miss my chance? Was I wrong? then I say, well it didn't feel right, so I couldn't have gone through. It was not really an option after all. I just couldn't do it.

Another door looms ahead. Yes, this is it.. I feel hopeful. Then as it approaches, i get scared again. Is this the correct way out? It is risky, very risky. I know i sound like a hesitant person for someone who needs a way out.. but the way out should not feel this way. It should not feel like a logical decision. It should feel like something your soul longs to do. Will I let this door go by too?

And then I sit and think, is something wrong with me? Why am I unable to go through? Am i still clinging to that old place, which does not belong to me? I hope not. there is no door going there I think, and even if there is, don't want to go there any more.

But I so want the feeling I had there. But in a better place. A real place that is mine.. not fake.

As I sit and wait for my door, I realize that nothing is in my hands, I ask God to show me the way, send me a door, make it just right for me. And make me want to go through. all I can say is La 7awl wala kowwa illa billah.

Thank you Mom

My mother always tells me "You have no idea how much I love you, you will only know when you have a child of your own". I always tell her " but mom, I do know, and I love you too!"

But she always insists it is not the same at all.

I am yet to have a kid, but I get glimpses of motherhood from time to time, and I think I am starting to understand.

These glimpses of course come through my nephews. I have 2 nephews, 4 and 11, and one niece of 2 years of age. I love them all, but I am guilty of secretly favoring the middle Boy of 4 years old (Ibrahim). Is it normal to have favorites? Hana should be the favorite right? she is a girl, the youngest, and also shares my birthday! but I can't help it.

Well anyway, Ibrahim is attached to me, and from time to time he likes to spend the night with me. The most recent being last night. and I get to see then how a mother is with her child. (or as close as I can).

Your priorities immediately shift, He is the priority, his rest, his happiness, his sleep, everything. When going to sleep, we turn on cartoons to watch, even though I am used to watching something more adult like before I go to sleep. I turn off my phone, so no one would call and disturb him. He sleeps next to me, and all night, I sleep very lightly, I am always ready to wake up at the smallest sound coming from him. Not because I am a light sleeper (I am not), but I worry he would wake up startled and would want me to comfort him. I care that he is well covered, even if it means I am not. that is actually the case quite often, because he fidgets alot and ends up wrapped in the covers.

When he wakes up, even though I almost never think of breakfast, it is suddenly my top priority. and I want to make him something he likes. well to make a long story short, my happiness comes from his, even if I am tired, or uncomfortable. Sacrafices come easy. They are a pleasure in their own.

I realize if he was my kid, I would be used to it, and wouldn't be too careful, but I understand the concept. The love and care you give, even though the child is too young to understand how difficult it can be sometimes. Mothers do not give for appreciation and credit. they want nothing except the happiness and health of their kids. It is a pity that we only realize this when we are much older, after we literally put our parents through hell in our teen years (and alot of other times too). Escpecially that the biggest effort they do is when we are very young, and we hardly remember these years later on.

I hope I can Repay my mom just a little bit. Wish I can make her happy. I know I can't possibly come close to repaying her. But i can try :)

Thank You God for the blessing of motherhood, of the mercy that You put in a mother's heart to care for her young, even among animals.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I was reading this post at Me the other day, and then another at roora's about the blogosphere, and some serious verbal abuse used in some blogs.

Of course it rang quite a bell. I have seen a lot of those, not to mention been lashed out at here and there. In one of the posts, it was so irritating, I told the person to stop this bully business, and all I got was my comment deleted, so I guess it is useless to talk to them , right?

What it really reminds me of is high school. You know those mean girls that bully everyone? The ones that think they are better than everyone else, and their popularity is their number one goal in life?

The irony of the matter is, these never turn about to be really popular in real life. In real adult life, no one tolerates a mean person. Well they would have some friends of course, even serial killers would have a gang, but they are never loved by strangers, or by community in general. These high school bullies grow up and find that they can’t get away with that anymore. The weak ones in school usually develop some muscle, and can usually defend themselves.

But on the blogosphere, these people are adults.. and yet they act the exact same way, they surround themselves with a gang, whom they suck up to big time, and start mocking and laughing at anyone who doesn’t agree with them, or just for fun (just like at school!). these people depend on the decency of others to not stoop down to their level. Although anyone can. Or they use their power if they are the blog authors to delete and edit the conversations.

My question to those blog bullies who still live in their high school make believe world:

What are you doing?
Are you actually popular in real life?
Would you want someone you care about to see your blog? Unedited?
Do you have real friends? In real life, not on the net?
Do you think that you are smarter than everyone else?
Why don’t you put your obviously creative wit to something useful instead?
Do you know what everyone who doesn’t suck up to you think of you?
Do you know that you appear ridiculous? (you do)

Do you know who you are?.. I am sure you do.