share some thoughts

Thursday, April 24, 2008

So tired...

yeah i am... so tired.

i need to unwind somehow. used to e able to do that easily.... could be as simple as a good book, a walk, talking to someone close, or even having some cake....

but, now i just feel really tired.... the stress is really getting to me. it is not one big major thing.... it is just alot of little things.... and i had not had the chance to unwind after my thesis maybe?
even going out has become stressful because of the traffic. traffic in cairo has become a major problem. it took me close to 2 hours coming home yesterday! it gets on one's nerves. makes the choice of staying home and watching tv more and more appealing that going out, driving there, and looking for a parking place. i wish i can live somewhere (just for a little while) that i can ride a bike everywhere i go. where i work (yes i would like to be working in my fantasy land i seem to be daydreaming about here, i do love my work) within a walking distance from my house..

in this fantasy land.... people would smile when they greet each other, and try to make each other laugh. it is no small thing, being able to make people laugh. unfortunately, not many people i know have that ability... Jon stewart does, and i do love to watch him, but he is not my friend... just a guy on tv (but very funny... seriously)

but i understand why not alot of people are like that ... I do. The world has become very difficult. with insinuatins that things will become more difficult every time the news is on. But of course Alhamdulillah foreverything.... i know that i am B*****ing righ now because i am tired right now... but i know that ihave tons and tons of blessing... i do nt want to be ungrateful. i know that alof of people in the world would die for one day of my life... where i have family, alhamdulilah, health, and alot more alhamdulillah. i am sitting here typing on my laptop in my bedroom with the AC on, and i know it is really hot outside. i hate it when i am in this mood, because i know that i have so many gifts from God, and i still complain and moan... and i realize that this is not a positive attitude. nor is it right.

i do not know what it is honestly that is putting me in this stressed out mood. maybe it is the traffic... and alot of stuff that i need to do..... just stress... right??

When i think what i can need to relieve me right now.... one word comes to mind: massage!!!

I hate it that i am writing this down right now... i hate being the complainer.... and here it is.... i am even complaing about complaining.... what is wrong with me!?

I really really need my positive mood back. it has been exam week at college today... and talk about stress! yes i am not the one taking the tests.... but it is just in the air.... i can almost physically reach out and touch it... the chrge in the air. seeing some of the students crying because they have not done well.... or are worried.... or are being treated unfairly.... i guess it gets to you.

where can i go where everyone is happy. or at least cheerful? mmmm maybe heaven!

btw, the B on my keyboard seems to be stuck. have to fix it.

ok this is why i began blogging,, now i remember... to empty my thoughts at times like this... after a while, it did not seem that way, because i started having friends on the blogosphere, so i know someone is gonna read it... so i don't just ramble on like i am doing today. but i haven't been blogging for a while, and so , alot of poeple who used to come by don't anymore. and i think that is why i am able to just let it out, and not worry about bringing someone down with my mood., or even boring them. just typing away. and it feels good. sigh

Monday, April 14, 2008

resuming blogging?

it has been a long time since i have blogged anything... i really miss it though. alot of times i have these thoughts in my head that i just want to put down. typing right now is actually very relaxing. I have been really preoccupied these last few months, trying to finish my phD thesis, worrying about my defense, doing my presentation etc etc.... so i really had no mental space to actually sit in a relaxed manner and discuss other things, or write about them, and what i miss alot, is checking out my favorite blogs.... wonder who gave up blogging and who is still hanging in there. will check it out ISA after i finsih posting this.

So... I did finish my PhD..! THANK GOD!!! a 6 year projct finally finished (though i am still stuck with alot of paper work. but it does feel good... feels free more than anything.

Trying to start being serious about my clinic. Because my practice is new, i do not have many patients yet, and thus I am always reluctant to go sit there just in case a patient passes by :(
it takes alot of discipline to show up to work, when you are your own boss, and know that you can easily skip the day (which i do often). my friend and partner in the clinic is having major problems commitiing to the hours of the clinic as well. so we went out bought a computer, internet access, a brand new TV, cable, everything that would make our long hours in the clinic more tolerable i guess. I am thinking that if the pace picks up and we start making money, that would encourage us.... ok i am rambling and sounding very whiny about something that is very good and alot of people woul want to have.... so enough of that..

And I discovered Grey''s anatomy!!! I had always heard about the show but written it off as just another medical drama..... probably not worth watching.... but i got hooked....BIG TIME. i bought the first season DVD, watched it in maybe one or two days... and voila i am an addict.

i went and bought the rest of the seasons, and i watched about 3 episodes every night till they were done. and now I am trying to be patient waiting for the next episodes. next one will be on the 24th this month i think.... but that is in the states!!! I would not get it till the first of July :(
but i guess you tube can help abit.

ok this has been my first post in while... and i just typed it really quickly, and did not care for the punctuation or spelling much. and i do not know if i had really said anything that i usually like to blog about, but i am glad i did it anyway.

will go have some coffee now. :)