share some thoughts

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I was reading this post at Me the other day, and then another at roora's about the blogosphere, and some serious verbal abuse used in some blogs.

Of course it rang quite a bell. I have seen a lot of those, not to mention been lashed out at here and there. In one of the posts, it was so irritating, I told the person to stop this bully business, and all I got was my comment deleted, so I guess it is useless to talk to them , right?

What it really reminds me of is high school. You know those mean girls that bully everyone? The ones that think they are better than everyone else, and their popularity is their number one goal in life?

The irony of the matter is, these never turn about to be really popular in real life. In real adult life, no one tolerates a mean person. Well they would have some friends of course, even serial killers would have a gang, but they are never loved by strangers, or by community in general. These high school bullies grow up and find that they can’t get away with that anymore. The weak ones in school usually develop some muscle, and can usually defend themselves.

But on the blogosphere, these people are adults.. and yet they act the exact same way, they surround themselves with a gang, whom they suck up to big time, and start mocking and laughing at anyone who doesn’t agree with them, or just for fun (just like at school!). these people depend on the decency of others to not stoop down to their level. Although anyone can. Or they use their power if they are the blog authors to delete and edit the conversations.

My question to those blog bullies who still live in their high school make believe world:

What are you doing?
Are you actually popular in real life?
Would you want someone you care about to see your blog? Unedited?
Do you have real friends? In real life, not on the net?
Do you think that you are smarter than everyone else?
Why don’t you put your obviously creative wit to something useful instead?
Do you know what everyone who doesn’t suck up to you think of you?
Do you know that you appear ridiculous? (you do)

Do you know who you are?.. I am sure you do.


  • At 9/07/2005 2:19 PM, Blogger roora said…

    Yes ya doshar , I know what you are talking about ,

    it is very silly and redicilous to find people who goes down like that in their attitudes and in their conversations as if they are still in schools and not as proper adult people

  • At 9/07/2005 3:21 PM, Blogger Me said…

    Can't bear bullies !!! At our school el7amdulilah they couldn't get away with being bullies...that attitude never used to get them anywhere near being popular...
    As for bullies on the blogosphere... I LOVE this suggestion....."Why don’t you put your obviously creative wit to something useful instead?"

  • At 9/07/2005 5:06 PM, Blogger doshar said…

    i hate bullies too, because their victims are usually the weak ones. and it is not fair. you this bully attitude occurs among nations too!

    i wonder if it happens among animals?

  • At 9/07/2005 10:38 PM, Blogger AsianSmiles said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 9/07/2005 10:41 PM, Blogger AsianSmiles said…

    gee. Dosh, I wasn't able to sleep last night - I think I acted 'improperly' in a blog that we both go to.

    Thanks for giving me the necessary 'push' to apologize.

    I really appreciate this post of yours.

  • At 9/07/2005 11:44 PM, Blogger irina said…

    I hope I can still remember who I am by the end of this year...

  • At 9/08/2005 12:56 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    asian smiles: a blog we both go to? mmmm... i will go check :)

    irina: :) glad to see you. hope you have time this year to blog more often, i know it is hectic now for you and very busy, good luck.

    ps. we won't forget who you are.

  • At 9/08/2005 1:03 AM, Blogger Me said…

    Hey Doshar...found out how to make links in comments.. check it out here... ay khadamat ;-)

  • At 9/08/2005 1:47 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    alf shokr ya me! enty ell gamila wallahi

  • At 9/09/2005 3:37 AM, Blogger Paul said…

    In real life, as adults, as you say, one encounters bullies seldom, in contrast to school years. And the bullying is verbal rather than physical.

    My personal favorite technique for dealing with adult bullies those few times I've encountered them on the job - also on the blogosphere - is to appear entirely unbothered and unemotional. Actually, I'm not much bothered anyway, because I do feel it's the bully who makes him or herself look bad, and doesn't make me look bad.

    By staying calm and making your reply entirely rational, it's quite easy to leave the bully looking like a fool for anyone else who's watching.

    I think bullies can even sense this about you and it makes them leave you alone. My final year of work, my school got a new principal who was the most immense bully I ever met in adult life. I truly think the woman was mentally unwell, and it expressed itself in not listening to staff, arbitrary decisions - just a love of wielding power. Half the staff left at the end of the year. She had some of the female teachers in tears in the hallways, also a couple secretaries in the front office.

    Although she did successfully bully me in the sense of forcing me into disability a few months earlier than I wanted, she never once messed with me in public. I think she sensed my calmn and knew I was waiting for her! I truly would have loved it if she'd tried... Oh, well, can't have everything I guess...

  • At 9/09/2005 11:15 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    paul, good for you. yes, you are very calm in your discussions, and it becomes contagious :) that is why, even though some of your topics, although could be a potential battle ground, go very smoothly and peaefully.

    yeah, i usually do what you said, but i sometimes see others who can't, and are attacked ferociously, some of who are dear to me.

    your pricipal reminds me of professor snape (Harry Potter Books)

  • At 9/09/2005 11:51 AM, Blogger roora said…

    Paul , I agree with your words
    "is to appear entirely unbothered and unemotional. "

    Because they actually don't deserve to be bothered about them

  • At 9/11/2005 3:07 AM, Blogger Dalulla said…

    I agree about being calm. but in certain situations when the larger percent reaches to a point where they walk away, the "bully" thinks they got their way, and go ahead into bullying more and more people.

    Could all of u tell me who will put an end to a "bully" then? I do agree with Paul about being calm, rational and logical. But where is the logic that can convince a bully? They wouldn't have been one in the first place, maybe, just maybe with enough logic and long cahts or comments or whaterver some sense might knock on their brains and hearts.

    Sometimes there are topics where u cannot just let someone get away with due to their importance. It all depends on how patient and logical in your replies you can be.

    I have a problem. I usually go all the way because i hate bullies so much. I hate injustice, I hate negative thought that can and will definitely mislead people or sometimes hurt them or hurt a whole group of people, and simply can not just walk away, unless if all the logic in my pockets and back pockets is through. Only then would i feel that at least I did what i had to do, and sleep in peace. If i have no logic, will not comment or say anything, because then i will have no right to speak. Can all of u tell me what they think?


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