share some thoughts

Sunday, July 31, 2005

House Wife Mentality

Do house wives have a different mentality than working women?

With some exceptions, I think they actually are different. my job is somewhat in between (I have a light schedule, because I teach at the university, basically 4 days a week usually and the days almost never go past five. and in the summer not past 2 or 3 pm). So I see the changes with the different seasons. in the summer I find my moods and habits more domestic (want to make something yummy, wanna just sit ant talk on the phone and watch TV, want to change or tidy up stuff) and when there is work, I have other things on my mind, and I think the balance is good. But most jobs are unfortunately all or none rule. You either work 8-10 hours a day for 5 days a week, or you stay home 24/7.

What are the differences in the mental process?

Working women are usually more practical, less tolerant, more independent, slightly more efficient in time management, more socially and politically aware, and their whole mood is somehow different than a house wife.

A house wife would be more patient, resilient usually, a bit laid back, more dependent, and things tend to take more time. Also I think working women are more apt to cut corners here and there, if it works it goes attitude. House wives can afford being perfectionists and thinking into things more.

I can't really put my finger on it, but there is somehow a difference.
and there is a difference between house wives who have worked before and are at home now to take care of their kids, they sometimes have a working women mind (like my friend D) and ones who never considered working except if they had to.

Can’t be unfair, I know this stereotyping is a bit too generalized and I know it is not to be meant for all. I have seen men that would not consider marrying a house wife, while others would not consider marrying a working woman. Not for financial reasons, but for the differences that I am talking about.

the extreme of both cases is not desirable, staying at home with no interest in the outer world except cooking and the prices of the latest fashions, or where can I get fresh tomatoes; or working all the time, and not knowing what the hell is going on at home. Your kids do need their TLC. And it is such a noble and important job taking care of your children.

I know I might be a bit biased being a working woman, but a friend of mine who used to work and doesn’t now because of her little kids once told me : “I feel like my brain is rusting away”. Don’t want that to happen. Problem is, it sneaks up on you, and you would not even know it.


  • At 7/31/2005 7:35 PM, Blogger Shirazi said…

    Have you head about APT OUT REVOLUTION. This is a new trend where more women aare opting for home life as compared to power life in work.

  • At 8/01/2005 12:15 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    i haven't heard of it , but i am not surprised.

    the work environment is very harsh and unforgiving. a married working women carries alot of burden, while her home duties are not carried by someone else, so they carry double the load. it is a tough position. if work compromises your health, happiness, kids or marriage, of course it should come second.

    i am just saying that it is a choice some women hope they don't have to make. staying home has its disadvantages and advantages, and working as well, it is a matter of being able to balance them or not. if not, women would rather choose staying home, where the disadvantages affect them basically rather than their kids or husband.

    btw, working is not for power life (at least not for me) it is to use my mind and interact with the world.

  • At 8/01/2005 7:52 AM, Blogger Twosret said…


    I think every situation is different and every mother is different. Stay home mom's in Egypt are a bit different than in western countries. It is amazing how strong some mothers are.

    My best friend have triplets. She is an outstanding mom. Doesn't get ANY help. Her world revolves around her husband and three babies. Her brain is not rusting at all :) she is the most creative, intellgient young woman. Whenver I get tired I call her and say How you do it?!She motivates me.

    I think it is a matter of skills and a lot of different circumstances that affect mothers.

    To name a few husband, family, friends, work, and neighbors does have an influence on mothers in general.

    Motherhood is hard work but the outcome is awesome and if I'm asked I will do it again the same way and stay with my babies and not miss out on this most precious time in their lives.

    Very soon I can go back to school or work.

  • At 8/01/2005 10:38 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    yeah tworset, i know. and i don't say one is better than the other, it depends i guess on the circumstances.

    related to kids, i personally think staying with the kids when they are youngest (like yours) is very important. i am talking about the mentality in general of women who stay at home regardless of having kids or duties or not. and btw, some working women i know have this same mentality. it is not necessarily bad or good in comparison to working, they are just different.

    and your friend with triplets seems to be a real hero. i am sure her time is barely enough for her kids anyway. if i feel my kids would be affected by my work, i would definitely consider staying at home. some women in Egypt have great caracters too. but you know men; when their main interest is FOOD, the woman's main interest automatically becomes COOKING. you know they have this masal (proverb); the shortest way to your husband's heart is through his stomach!!


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