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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The myth of having it all


In relation to my house wife mentality blog, where working and staying home are too different things, with their pros and cons, I just realized that sometimes our options are very limited by our circumstances. Having it all is apparently very hard to find. I just read this article about the issue, showing how difficult it can be for us. We have 2 jobs, balancing them is almost a magician trick. And ones who do it, really really diserve a trophy. (or at least more appreciation!).

Actually here in Egypt, if you work in the government, you would get great family support for being a mom; you can take leave for years for child care, and have your job waiting for you at the end. The first 2 years of a baby's life, the mother is allowed an hour off (called nursing hour!) So moms can actually hold on to their jobs and have families at the same time. but of course governemt jobs have their drawbacks (don't need to list them, anybody in Egypt would know what they are).

It is the private sector that is merciless on women. You know that in a lot of resumes, being a married woman is a disadvanage? A married man is a better bet for them, "he would work harder for his family" is the theory. I guess for them it's a man's world phrase goes just fine.

6 Comments:

  • At 8/03/2005 1:16 AM, Blogger Renee Wagemans said…

    The balance between family and work is here in Holland a hard thing too

    Renee

     
  • At 8/03/2005 7:42 AM, Blogger LouLou said…

    doshar,

    I think the reason why balancing work & the home is such an issue for women is that men - especially in the Middle East - still don't accept their share of responsibility in the home & with the children. Few households today can manage with one income. So a man expects his wife to go out to work, add her income to the household budget but at the same time not ask him to do anything in the house or for the kids.

    Why is it that a working woman who is also a parent is said to have two jobs while no one says that about a man who is a parent?Because being a father is still not considered an important or compulsory job by most men.

    Since modern life requires that men & women share financial responsibilities men need to understand that that also means sharing in the home.Because a woman is only human & there are only 24 hours in a day.

    I know men who specifically go out looking for a working woman to marry so that she can help with expenses, then after marriage he expects her to do all the housework & take care of everything related to the children. And when she manages to do both he starts complaining that she is too busy with her work & the house & the children & she doesn't take care of herself & has no time for him & the romance is dead etc....And he feels free to go out & look for romance elsewhere.

    When I tell them well maybe if you do your part around the house & for the children it will give her more time for herself & for you they just look at me like I said something blasphemous.

    Am sorry but socialism is dead. This a capitalist world. Nothing is free or subsidized by the state anymore. Most services have either already been privatized or are on their way to be. Life is getting more & more expensive. Families need more than one income. The traditional image of Jane sitting home doing all the cooking while Tarzan goes out hunting is dead & in the past. The sooner social life catches up with economic reality the easier life will be for everyone.

     
  • At 8/03/2005 11:03 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    Lou, you are so right! Loved your comment! :)

     
  • At 8/03/2005 12:46 PM, Blogger irina said…

    tough world ladies... I don´t have a family and I hardly have the time to breathe...

     
  • At 8/06/2005 3:50 PM, Blogger Shirazi said…

    You have to opt out of one, either family or work.

     
  • At 8/07/2005 12:52 AM, Blogger doshar said…

    we have to choose either family or work? why?

    it does not seem fair at all. would you like to have to choose like that? why do we have to be put in such a situation?

    and then by this you bellieve that all working women have no families? or are terrible mothers?

    i am sorry, all or none rule is not an attractive solution. and everythng in excess is bad, so if society was more sympatheitc to mothers, things would not be so bleak.

    and what about jobs that need women? that a man can not or should not be the only ones doing? the women doing these have to be deprived of families? if it is halal and having a family is halal, then why should they not be able to meet?

     

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